'MURICA FROM A SCOTS VIEW

People often ask me what's the hardest thing about moving here, or what's the biggest cultural shock. I really don't know how to answer things like that until I'm outside looking around me. So I've had time to gather my thoughts and Imma list a few things on how it really is. 

I promise, this post has a silver lining.

Please America, take no offence in advance. These are things that make my day.

1. First things first, educate yo'self.

Yes America, educate yourself on other countries. Nobody really knows anything about the UK or Scotland except their ancestors are from there. Actually Utah is the second highest state in the US with the highest percentage of Scots. And no, I don't speak a foreign language, I speak english just like you. But no, please don't try to impressionate me.

Here's a few things I've been asked:

 (which all have been answered with huge sarcasm, please do not take as doctrine)

Where is Scotland?

Did you go to school?

Do you have wifi?

No, Scotland is decades behind the rest of the world.

Is there toilets inside?

Naw, we pee and poop outside. Or do it in buckets and shout 'GARDYLOO!' before we throw it out the window.

Do you have arranged marriages?

That's why I'm here in Utah.

Do you eat haggis? 

Yes, breakfast lunch and dinner

So is Braveheart like the real deal?

Don't even get us started.

Oh you're from Australia!

(8 times in one day I got asked that)

Oh, do you know a David?

Yes, I know exactly which David you are talking about out of the 5.259+ million people in Scotland.

Do you have burgers in Scotland?

I've never seen a cow in my life. 

Is Scotland still ruled by England?

Have you heard of Willy Wallace? 

Is scotland attached to england by a bridge?

I just can't even.....

Is scotland in the ocean compared to England?

Does this get any worse?

Is english your first language?

Oh, it just got worse.

Is that near Ee-din-burg?

Oh, you mean Edinburger? Or Edinburgh?

2. American's are freakin' busy

Everywhere you go here, everyone has something they are doing, somewhere they need to be or someone they need to see. You rarely ever see someone taking a relaxing stroll unless you are on a hiking trail. Motorways or 'Freeways' are mental, you get beeped at for the smallest things. You see a crash almost every week. Even not on the freeways, people are impatient, drivers won't stop to let someone else go first unless you are at an all way stop sign. It seems like back home we are all literally sloths compared to here. Maybe that's why I thought I was going to die when Nathan hired a car when he came to visit...

3. Nobody walks

Since I still can't drive here, I walked to the nearby pool from my apartment and I would have enough money to fly back home to visit if I had a dollar for how many people looked at me so strangely from their car, for walking (well not really that much money cause tickets are flippin' beyond expensive but you catch my drift). Oh yeah, hardly any pavements or 'sidewalks' either. Only in big neighbourhoods. But since everything is super spaced out here, you have no choice really but to drive everywhere.

4. Drive thru life

On that nobody walking note, there is a drive thru for literally everything. Fast food on every corner, drive thru pharmacies, banks, starbucks. There's no red post boxes to post letters, because oh wait... There's a drive thru for that too.

5. 100 North 400 Whaaaat?

What's wrong with the good old street names and house numbers? Who thought of this grid system and numbered it? Thanks America, now I need to know where north, east, south and west is everywhere I go.

6. No such thing as chips n' curry sauce

Or should I say fries n' curry sauce. You cannot go into a chinese and just get a simple wee chips n' curry with fried rice. I almost had a mental, physical and emotional breakdown and flew home.

7. Where's the grass?

Sprinklers everywhere hidden in the grass, come out at night time so the grass stays green. But only in residential areas. Everywhere else like hike trails, mountains etc there's just trees and dirt paths. Where's the ochils at?

But in all seriousness. I love it here. 

The crazy things I get asked and things I discover here make my day. 

It makes me laugh and smile so hard. 

People are so self driven here, everyone knows where they want to go in life and are willing to do whatever they can to succeed. 

Finding good cheese and bread might be hard, but the food here is delish. The burgers are the best. You can get ANY SIZED DRINK AT MCDONALD'S FOR $1 and large drinks here are two times the size of my face. The neighbourhoods are super friendly, everyone is always popping round to someone's house. Everyone here has made it the easiest thing for me to transition here. Nathans family and everyone around me is always giving advice and super involved with my life and even my family back home. My family don't know it yet, but they have no idea how much love people out here have for them. 

Utah has 17 temples, the UK has 2 (none of which are in scotland).

I love being around so many beautiful temples where I can receive guidance and peace. 

And even though there's not grassy hills, Utah is a different kind of pretty. The nature here is so beautiful. I love the colours of the lakes and the smell of the forests. I love how I can still be in God's creation here and gather my thoughts the same as I did back home. It's even better that I can do it with the greatest company.